Four Ways to Teach Children How to Work
Children play. Adults work. How do we parents transport our children from one point to the other? How do we build a positive work ethic in them? At what age should children begin to work? What does it take to train them to be responsible adults? From conversations with families who have successfully made this journey, I have observed four common traits.
Entreaty
You cannot do this alone. Don’t even try. Teaching children to work is not for the faint-hearted, nor is it for the do-it-yourselfer. You must entreat God for help; that is what diligent, godly families do. He is the One who created you, your children, the world, and work itself. Jesus Christ was the perfect worker. He said, “My Father worketh hitherto, and I work” (John 5:17). He promises wisdom to those who ask for it (James 1:5). Mine the scriptures, especially Proverbs, for its practical advice, then pray to God to bless your efforts.
Teaching children to work is not for the faint-hearted, nor is it for the do-it-yourselfer.
Example
Diligent parents are more likely to rear diligent children. When the young ones see your example, they realize, “Work is the stuff of everyday life.” Over the course of eighteen years, gradually decrease play and increase work. Of course, we have times of recreation and rest as well, but God gave the commandment, “Six days shalt thou labor.” Work is good, and it’s good for our kids. Don’t deprive them of the satisfaction of accomplishing a task. Gift them with a sense of purpose that follows a job well done. And make sure they experience, “The sleep of a laboring man is sweet” (Eccl. 5:12).
Gift them with a sense of purpose that follows a job well done.
Benefits abound when children are immersed in an atmosphere of diligence in our homes. Involving them in tasks of daily living—cooking, budgeting, cleaning, fixing, and building—teaches them to be independent. When we provide a variety of work experiences, they learn life skills, some that may tap into their talents and lead to their life’s calling. Our children also pick up intangible character traits when they observe them in us: perseverance, dependability, accuracy, self-discipline, and integrity.
When we provide a variety of work experiences, they learn life skills, some that may tap into their talents and lead to their life’s calling.
Expectation
Diligent parents expect their children to work. No hesitancy, no negotiation—we are family, we love and serve each other, we work together, and we enjoy the benefits together. That’s just the way it is. Our children sense our attitude, so they are less likely to resist.
Begin early, early enough, so they never remember a time when they did not work. Tap into their desire to be big like daddy and mommy. Praise their efforts. When they say, “I do it myself,” let them. Start with little jobs for little kids. Train them to take care of themselves. Time spent teaching them a task is quality time. Aim for gradual improvement, not immediate perfection. Don’t take over a job for them because they are too slow or too messy. Practice makes perfect.
Start with little jobs for little kids.
Some children will resist. Be ready for it. After you have prayerfully decided on a reasonable amount of work to expect from each child, according to their age and ability, give clear instructions. Convey an attitude that you expect them to willingly obey. Work together at times; it says, “I’m not above doing menial tasks,” and it allows you to model the work for them. If they quibble, calmly say, “This is what you need to do.” If they resist further or if they whine, they need to experience consequences. Be calm but firm. Give no more than one warning. Then simply assign more work, take away privileges, or say something like, “When you are finished, you can have lunch.” If they are defiant, they need to be disciplined. Whatever your decision is, stick with it. If you give in now, they will press you again. If you wish to extinguish whining and arguing, you must make sure that the consequences of resisting work are more painful than the work itself. Be strong!
Be calm but firm. Give no more than one warning.
Enjoyment
Some children are naturally industrious and enjoy work. The rest need to work through the pain to find that enjoyment. Our attitude towards work has a tremendous impact on our children. If we groan and complain about our job and live for the weekends, our children will think, “Work is drudgery.” What a depressing outlook when you consider that at least one-third of our waking hours for 50 years are spent working.
But it does not have to be this way! If you think negatively of work, pray to God and reason with yourself until you realize that work is a blessing. Of course, some work is unpleasant, but then it’s rewarding when it’s done. Friends, find the joy in work! And let it rub off on your children. Give them the rich experience of fulfillment from successfully tackling a tough job. Study God’s amazing creation together. Teach them the connection between working and earning wages, so they reject an attitude of entitlement and instead choose the sense of worth and dignity that flows from working hard.
Study God’s amazing creation together.
Do you want an extra measure of joy in work? Serve others—in the home and beyond. As a family, generously share your time, labor, and possessions with those who are needy. Then sit around the dinner table and discuss the thrill in your heart that comes when you can work to help others. If all our life is to be focused on loving and honoring God and loving our neighbor as ourselves, then that must be the focus of our work life as well.
God’s gift of work is very good! Share it with your children!
Work is a gift from God.
Mary Beeke’s book is available from Reformation Heritage Books.
